The Eleanor Rigby Effect

Ever felt invisible in a room full of people who are fully engaged with each other? They’re laughing, talking, catching up like it’s effortless. You try to join in. You smile, add a comment, maybe ask a question. But it falls flat. No one really responds. It’s like your presence doesn’t register.

Then there’s the other kind of quiet ache—the kind that shows up when you’re surrounded by people glued to their phones. At lunch. During dinner. You put your own phone down, hoping someone will look up. Hoping to spark a conversation. But instead, you get a few distracted grunts or half-hearted nods.

And somewhere in that silence, you start to wonder if maybe the problem is you.

That feeling of loneliness doesn’t always show up when you’re physically alone. It shows up when you’re surrounded – but disconnected. When you feel like you’re the only one who notices, who cares, who feels deeply, and who aches for more.

There are two lines from one of my favorite Beatles songs—Eleanor Rigby—that hit especially hard:

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear No one comes near

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name Nobody came

Those lines cut deep because you start wondering if you’d ever be missed. If your absence would be felt. If you’ll wind up like them.

But here’s what I’ve had to remind myself, and maybe you need to hear it too: You’re not wrong for wanting to be seen. To be heard. To be valued.

You’re not dramatic for hoping someone might ask how you really are. And you’re definitely not the only one carrying that invisible weight.

There are so many people walking around with full hearts and no place to land them. So many wondering if anyone sees them. Gets them. Genuinely cares about them.

For many, it is the weight of their mental health that makes them feel this way. It’s the self-doubt, the insecurity, and the fear that creeps in and takes over.

But hear me clearly: You don’t need to justify your feelings to deserve having them. And just because people don’t respond the way you need them to doesn’t mean your needs are too much.